5 Essential Duties of the Mother-of-the-Bride

You’ve just found out your daughter is engaged! After the initial excitement, the planning starts. Then the panic sets in; you’re the mother of the bride! You might feel excited, stressed, overwhelmed, or even sad. All these feelings are normal, but when you know what to expect, you can relax and have fun!

As mother-of-the-bride, you should focus on one very important aspect: your daughter’s happiness. This is her day, remember that! And no matter how old she is, she is going to need her mom. If you are stressed about doing a good job supporting your daughter, chances are you already doing fabulous! Here are some of the essential duties of the mother-of-the-bride:

Mother-of-the-Bride Duties Before Wedding Duties

Every wedding is different, and the future bride and groom will have their own ideas about planning their wedding day. As mother-of-the-bride, your primary role is to offer emotional support during this exciting time. Traditionally, you play an important role in the planning process.

1. Support the Wedding Planning Process 

The bride typically has two primary supporters helping her plan the wedding. Her maid or matron of honor, and her mother. As the mother of the bride, you are the bride’s go-to for things like creating a guest list and scouting out venues, and you will accompany her to the bridal shop to find the perfect dress.

If you are heavily involved with vendors and are a point of contact, it’s a good idea to create a binder or notebook to help you keep track of where things are in the planning process. You may be responsible for following up with the venue, caterer, florist, DJ or band, and wedding cake baker, among others. This is a lot to keep track of, and going into it organized is essential.

2. Attend the Wedding Shower 

The maid of honor usually plans the shower, but you are also expected to be there. You may have helped the maid of honor with the planning, including providing or securing a venue; it just depends. Most likely, you just need to show up. This is another opportunity to get to know the wedding party and to support your daughter, and remember to have a great time.

Mother-of-the-Bride Duties on Wedding Day

The wedding day is a flurry of activity, with many ways to support the bride. Be a calming influence, help her stay grounded, and offer to assist her with getting ready. This is a magical time for you and your daughter and an excellent opportunity to share fun stories of your wedding day. This is also the time to present any heirlooms (something old!) to your daughter.

While helping your daughter get ready, you may also be communicating with vendors, answering phone calls, and checking to ensure things are in place, such as favors, guest books, centerpieces, and various other items. You may need your assistant to help keep things organized while helping the bride prepare.

1. Attend Preparation Activites 

As mother-of-the-bride, you will also be expected to attend the rehearsal dinner and any other gatherings with the groom’s side of the family.

2. Be Present and Engaged 

As the bride’s mother, there is an expectation to be a bit of a social butterfly. Don’t be alarmed! Be present, and remember that your biggest job is to support your daughter.

3. Work the Room

On the day of the wedding, your daughter may be the show’s star, but you are tasked with the role of “working the room.” This means you will greet great-aunt Madge and long-lost cousins and check in with grandparents and other guests to ensure they have what they need. All while stopping to pose for photographs and putting out any last-minute vendor problems.