Who is in Charge of Hosting the Bridal Shower?

By Published On: June 20, 2024

You’re engaged and planning your wedding and all the events leading up to it. The bridal shower is usually one of the first pre-wedding events leading up to the main celebration. Bridal showers have changed a lot over the years — what used to be a women-only event can now be co-ed, registry options have expanded, and so much more. If you are the bride-to-be, this might leave you with lots of questions, including who is in charge of hosting the bridal shower in the first place? Read below to find out!

Who Plans the Shower

Bridal showers started as an old tradition where neighbors would gather to help the bride’s family create a dowry. As you can see a lot has changed since then! Generally, it is the maid of honor who is put in charge of planning the bridal shower. However, it is not only a one-woman show. The maid of honor also relies on the other bridesmaids to help plan.

But it doesn’t have to be the maid of honor — anyone close to the bride, whether it be a cousin, sister, mom, grandma, or future mother-in-law, can host the bridal shower. In the past, it used to be that any immediate family members were never named as hosts of the bridal shower because it was seen as tactless for the bride’s family to request gifts. However, now it is seen as fine for a family member to host the event.

How to Ask Someone to Host

If no one has offered to host the bridal shower, it is completely appropriate for the bride to ask someone. Give your friends and family enough time to offer to host before asking. If no one has offered by 2 months before your wedding, it is safe to ask someone to host the event for you. Before you ask someone, know you are essentially asking the person to invest their time, energy and money. Tell them there’s no pressure if they want to say no, or even offer your support in any way you can.

Another scenario could be someone offers to host your bridal shower but you don’t want them to (maybe they aren’t in the best financial place). Or someone else has already started planning one. In this case, it is best to be as gracious as possible and let them know while you appreciate the support, it is not necessary.

Can You Host Your Own Bridal Shower?

While you might like the idea of hosting your bridal shower so you can plan it exactly how you want, it is a big no-no, especially when it comes to asking for gifts.

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

The person who hosts the bridal shower is the one who pays for it. Having several people host helps divide the expenses between people. Sometimes the mother of the bride and the bride herself can pitch in to help with expenses. The budget usually includes venue costs, favors, decorations, food, drinks, and other expenses.

Does the Bride Have a Say in the Planning

If the host asks for your input, you can offer ideas and suggestions. If you’re not asked, relax and let the host do all of the planning.

Responsibilities of Bridal Shower Host

Since we’ve talked about who hosts the bridal shower, now let’s go over the responsibilities of the bridal shower host.

  • Create a budget
  • Set a date
  • Choose a venue
  • Create a guest list
  • Pick a theme
  • Send out invitations
  • Purchase or create decorations
  • Plan menu
  • Come up with games and a playlist
  • Collect RSVPs
  • Purchase party favor gifts

Responsibilities of the Bride

  • Sign up for a registry
  • Purchase your bridal shower outfit
  • Purchase small gifts for the host(s)
  • Send thank you cards/notes to the guests


Whoever hosts the shower, the most important thing is to organize a happy event to honor the happy couple.  At the end of the day, it isn’t about gifts received or the food that was eaten, but celebrating with the people who care about you and want to help you get ready for the next chapter of your life.

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